When we talk about giving or getting feedback, our mind tends to immediately think the worst… it’s about a mistake or someone’s in trouble, but that’s simply not true. Shaking that misconception is key in reframing how you navigate effective feedback conversations.
For example, when someone on your team gets promoted, that’s a positive. However, they might not have all the experience required for the role. That’s where feedback, as a practice, not a punishment, comes into play and sets a framework for conversations that balance kindness and accountability and turn potential disagreements into dialogue. Normalizing these conversations sets a stage for real, comfortable discussions and shatters the standard fear or anticipation we have become accustomed to when a meeting invite pops up on the calendar or there’s a call into a leader’s office. Start by making feedback conversations the standard, not synonymous with being reprimanded.
How to Give Effective Feedback to Employees
Be prepared. Step one shouldn’t surprise you. As a leader, it’s on you to develop a structured plan or talking points to drive the conversation. Unpreparedness can lead to tip-toeing around the subject at hand or rough verbal deliveries, both of which your employee(s) can see, feel, and sense. That can trigger a fight or flight reaction, which is the opposite of what you want. Imagine how you’d want the environment (whether in person or virtual) to feel for you if the roles were reversed. And, prepare yourself for silence! It happens. Your employee might need some time to digest things, while you’ve already had more time to process, and that’s completely fair.
Be present. Screens and notifications need to be turned off. Shut the door if you’re in your office. Turn on Do Not Disturb. Even think about your facial expressions or ticks like tapping your pencil. These are discussions that deserve complete focus to end with resolution and it’s just as important that you illustrate that through your non-verbal communications.
Be clear. You created a plan, so kick off by stating the purpose of your meeting. Your employee(s) may not even know why you’re having this conversation or worse, maybe they think they do and have already created an idea in their head that’s inaccurate. After you’ve made the intent clear, next describe specifically the behaviors or actions you have observed and the resulting impact. This is about your non-biased observations as a leader and inviting your employee(s) to respond with their own true experience. This is exclusive to how someone can improve and your goal should always be to leave these conversations having maintained and/or bolstered the relationship.
Be considerate. Remember, this conversation is not about you. It should be focused on the other person. It’s important as leaders we show up as who we authentically are, but it’s just as critical that we show up for who we are talking to as well. These conversations are two-way streets and are not for you to do all the talking. It’s about creating a space where your staff feel safe to share their input, feel valued for it, and ultimately find solutions together. So, although you prepared talking points or maybe an agenda to keep on track, you have to stay present while your employee is sharing with you. That demands a little mind management on your end. Stop thinking 10 steps ahead or preparing a rebuttal for what you think someone might say. Breathe. Focus. Listen. Watch their body language. Gauge their energy. You might learn new context or information you didn’t have before that will become an important part of how you plan to move forward.
Be proactive. After both parties have had a chance to share their experience, it’s time to reinforce that you’re moving forward together. You don’t just walk away from feedback conversations, whether they’re positive or not. You move on with a plan developed mutually, empowering employee(s) to design their own next steps, goals, and deadlines to meet them. Instead of seeming like you’re barking orders, you’re handing over control. It’s a gentle reminder that you value your employee(s) and want to see change happen, realistically with their unique circumstances and timelines, for the benefit of your team as a whole. It’s not a punishment. It’s encouragement and support. And it’s all about how you set that tone to move ahead.
Leadership Feedback Techniques That Improve Performance
Jennifer Maxson and Associates offers training programs that can help you feel more confident understanding your and your team’s behavioral styles (a key component for effectively communicating, no matter the intent) and in initiating these important conversations in a productive, comfortable and professional manner.
Our DiSC® program offering makes leaders aware of their workstyle tendencies and those of their staff, which makes all the difference when you’re having conversations that can feel sensitive or tense. Different personality styles demand different delivery, from shooting it straight with a D-style personality or prioritizing the desire for safety from an S-style personality. Your team will feel the consideration and recognize that you’re truly in it together to find resolution and improve.
And in Productive Conversations we guide you through developing discussion points for your unique work environment regarding professional expectations, rewarding performance, and addressing issues head on with compassion and clarity so that you retain good talent through solid relationships.
At the end of the day, ensuring that feedback conversations are effective starts with being intentional and slowing down, and simply making the practice the norm. It’s about asking, “What’s going well?” and celebrating it as much as it’s about asking “What’s going wrong?” and tackling it, together. That’s always easier said than done with stacked schedules and non-stop responsibilities, but lasting change won’t come without both. No exceptions.