Conflicts will arise whenever people interact and work together. We can’t get around it. And yet, anyone who is asked will say they hate conflict. It is uncomfortable and hard. Many of us run the other way or choose to ignore the issue at hand.
What would it look like to have healthy conflict? Here are some thoughts on how to create healthy communication practices:
1. Communicate Often
It can be helpful to have regular check-ins with team members where quality listening and connection happens. This can help prevent larger issues and allows for a true pulse reading on how each teammate is doing.
2. True Listening:
Rather than listening to plan your response – the goal for quality communication should be for understanding and connection. So for healthy conflict, it is important to aim for understanding rather than winning. One phrase to consider trying: “I feel ____________ when you do ____________.” This helps keep the conflict about the action rather than about the person.
3. Make a Plan:
There are times when it is better to come up with some talking points prior to the conversation to go in with a plan. And to go one step further – you could practice the talking points with a trusted friend/colleague.
4. Remain Calm:
If the conversation gets heated or your conversation partner becomes defensive, stay calm and keep you responses clear and concise.
Conflict will happen no matter what. It is up to you to lean in and make the conflict healthy.
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